Choosing the right outfit to wear on the beach can be a minefield - just ask Borat, who probably shouldn't be looking so pleased with himself. I would not recommend this type of swimsuit to anybody who wants to retain any street credibility. There are some depths that sunlovers have to be prepared not to plumb!...and this is one that I suggest is totally un - plumbable even in the name of fashion!
According to Tim Hunter, the maker of swimsuit documentary Packed Lunch (sadly never in the running for an Oscar), the Speedo is king of the beach. I know I was surprised I thought it would be the bikini. We only mock the much-maligned garment, argues Hunter, because of embarrassment and fear borne of our repressed natures.
Personally, I'm happy to remain repressed and refuse to condone the Speedo under any circumstances - not even if you're a tanned ladies' man named Raoul, as fans of Scottish soft drinks will testify. As Hunter himself states, the Speedo is only really acceptable in the twenty-first century as a functional item of sporting equipment.
So, unless you happen to be Mr Ian Thorpe or Mr Michael Phelps, you should steer well clear of the banana-hammock. Choose instead the noble, flattering and much less distressing pair of board shorts. For everyone's sake. I am surprised this type of suit is not illegal in some countries as it looks like a health risk to the wearer and also to any unfortunate onlooker. If you have an attractive lady on your arm then make sure she is in equally illustrious bikini swimwear
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